The case for letting kids decide

Gosia Betancourt: A lot of times parents, we like to kind of almost control , the future or even like how we want to see or where we wanna see our children at. Right. And in the end, the ball is in the kids’ hands.

Andrea Marie: We are Moms Unhinged, a nationally touring standup comedy show. Join us in our podcast as we explore everything from motherhood, midlife, crisis, marriage, divorce, online dating, menopause, and other things that irritate us.

Hi, everyone, and welcome to Moms Unhinged the podcast. I’m your host, Andrea Marie, and I am joined today by the amazing Gosia Betancourt, a fellow Denver local mom here.

We just connected recently, and welcome, Gosia.

Gosia Betancourt: Thank you so much for having me here. I hope it’s going to be fun. We’re in Unhinged Moms.

Andrea Marie: That is a thing. We always have fun as unhinged moms. We just, you know, let it roll. Let things just whatever. We need to realize that as moms, we’re all, like, doing our best and so, you know, this is what we like to talk about. And I wanted to dive in a little bit ’cause Gosia has two amazing sons, and they are what, 13 and 15?

Oh, 12 and 13. They’re Irish twins. Oh my gosh, we can talk about that too. That must have been a challenge. But they are both, especially her one son, is really heavily into sports, elite sports, and we wanted to talk about what that experience is like and how you deal with that as a parent and as a family unit and all of that stuff.

So tell us a little bit about your sons’ sports and how that fits in with your life.

Gosia Betancourt: All right. I’m very thrilled to share our journey and our story and experiences. Some were great, some not so much, fun or scary, but hey, you know, this is life. This is the journey and I guess all of us experience it every day. So I do have two boys, Josh and Jacob.

They’re only 15 months apart, so it’s actually, I’ll have to say, it’s pretty convenient to have them one after the other when it comes to sports or any activities, because, I was able to drop them off together a lot of times, or they could do various activities. I have to admit that I was very much, I would say it’s called intentional on what I wanted them to be involved in or where they should be exposed to, which means everything.

Trying every sport

Gosia Betancourt: I’ll share it with you. So literally since they were, you know, babies and me, so they started with gymnastics, and they, as they were growing, we’ve exposed them to chess, piano, baseball, flag football, like all different kinds of sports you would think of. I’m glad they did because they were able to share with me, “Mom, I like this. I don’t like that.”

So instead of us, like as parents, we like to push, like, “I want them to become the best soccer player. I want them to become this and that.” And honestly, I think if we can actually sit back and let the child lead, I think that, that’s the best kind of experience. So after all those kind of experience, my both of my children started narrowing down, skiing, golfing, you name it, like all the kind of experiences.

And then my sons started out like, “Mom, I don’t wanna do this sport, that sport,” and we continue, you know, staying within one, which was gymnastics. And after many years after that, Josh, he’s now high-level, elite diver, for the USA Diving at Mile High Dive Club here in Denver. So we’re very excited about it, and I can’t wait to share our journey.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, that’s so interesting because how do you? You know, it can be such a challenge on how do you know when to say, “You know what? Give it a little bit more time,” versus, “Okay, you can stop doing that.” ‘Cause I know sometimes my kids are like, “Ugh, I don’t wanna do that.” And like, you know, sometimes it takes a little bit of learning and applying yourself and getting a little bit better to actually start enjoying something.

So how did you navigate that?

Gosia Betancourt: That’s a great question. It is always very hard because it’s easy for us, like even trying to encourage a child, like, “Why don’t you finish the season? Why don’t you complete whatever you started?” And absolutely this is very legitimate, and we all been through this. And I think it is actually a fine line, and we do need to kind of have the mother’s intuition a little bit in it, too.

At what point are we actually going to help the child? Well, maybe this is the short moment, you know, that they’re trying, you know, they’re trying to tell us something, and we’re trying to encourage them like, “Hey, at least complete the season,” or something like that. But I think that’s why it is very important to be involved in our children’s lives, in their sports, and seeing them, how are they truly, experiencing it and reacting to moments that they’re down.

Maybe this is just temporary. However, if you actually hear it from a child every single practice, every single time, and it’s just so much, at some point, I think you as a parent need to help the child. Like, “Okay, why are you saying this? What are your thoughts? Can you tell me more? Let me hear you.”

So I think we need to listen. And I’ll give you an example. When Josh was already pretty involved in advanced gymnastics, he trained, you know, six days a week, twice a day, five hours a day, which was very intense. And he loved it. He loved every minute of it. You know, he never complained that we had to wake up at 6:00 a.m to be at the gym by 7:00. And then, you know, traveling and competing.

“Mom, I’m not going back to the gym”

Gosia Betancourt: But literally, at some point, one day, we were in the parking lot at, going to the, to the gym in Monday morning, and he says like, “Mom, I’m not going back to the gym.” I’m like, “What do you mean?” Like “What do you mean? We live at the gym, guy, like…”

You know what I mean? And he said, no, he’s crying. He’s like, “I don’t wanna go.” And I’m like, “Josh, you know, we’re in the middle of the season,” or whatever it was. So I was trying to kind of convince him like, “Hey, can you like, you know, tell me what’s going on?” And he started sharing his thoughts, and somehow he went back.

Tuesday morning, same thing. He’s crying again. He doesn’t wanna go, leave the car to… we’re in the parking lot of the gym. And then I’m thinking, “Oh my gosh.” I’m like, “This is becoming like real serious,” because I’ve never had that experience. And then by Wednesday he did again the same thing.

And then I actually finally, three days in a row, and I realized like, “No, this is more serious than I thought.” And then we went home. We actually did not went to the gym. And then I just started like pondering and thinking there must be something more going on than I think. In the end, we never went back to the gym.

And then that was really something for us because Josh started having withdrawals with his body. I never realized that when you stop working out, and he was only like 9, 10 years old maybe.

Andrea Marie: Wow.

Gosia Betancourt: He was, you know, pretty young, but because he trained so much, his body needed that workout. So I like started searching, like, what do I do?

Discovering diving

Gosia Betancourt: And couple of my friends, they said, “Why don’t you look into other sports?” And the first one came up to all of my friends’ minds was diving. It’s very relatable, for all the moms. It just So, you know, 85% of current divers are past gymnasts. I guess has to do with the flipping.

Andrea Marie: Makes sense.

Gosia Betancourt: One thing you actually, you do need to undo in your mind, instead of landing on the feet, you have to land on your head. So like the very.

Andrea Marie: Just a little difference.

Gosia Betancourt: Exactly. So what happened like that week, the first week when he actually really needed to work out, I reached, I started searching for top level.

He wanted to be a top gymnast, so the same thing, he transferred that like let’s find a top diving program. And we did find, which was the one in Colorado, Mile High Dive Club. And then we reached out to them. We scheduled the first lesson or training, whatever that was. And listen to When I looked like a fool, literally.

I’ll never forget that. So I’m dropping off Josh, you know, for the training at the diving club, and I said, “Hey-” Probably you love Josh. You know, he’s really good. Like, in general, he’s clean. He will do great flips or whatever it is. Don’t get your hopes up. Probably in a week or two, he probably, he’s just going through some times in you know, in his gymnastics world.

Most likely he’ll probably go back to gymnastics, but help me. I’m just trying to you know, this is our lifeline. We’re trying to help our kids, like how to manage and navigate through this. And the coach didn’t say anything. They were so humble and quiet, and they’re just like, they’re just kind of probably in behind their mind or they like, “Okay.”

Andrea Marie: Okay, lady. Okay.

Gosia Betancourt: Another mom, like this unhinged mom, right? So literally after one week, two weeks, three weeks, Josh is at the gym, at the diving or training, whatever it is. And then I ask Josh, I’m like, “Josh, so how is it going? You know, what’s going on?” Like I’m trying to learn from him and are we, you know?

What are your plans? And You’re then he says like, “What do you mean?”

Andrea Marie: I’m doing this now.

Gosia Betancourt: Exactly. So he says, i’m like, “Are you planning to maybe go back to gymnastics or what?” I’m like, “No, I’m actually, I’m gonna stay here. I love it, and this is awesome, and I’m staying in.” So a lot of, bottom line is, a lot of times parents, we like to kind of almost control , the future or even like how we want to see or where we wanna see our children at. Right. And in the end, the ball is in the kids’ hands and the athlete.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, because they are the ones that, I mean, they have to get up and do all the work and, you know, be there the long hours and everything like that. And it’s so interesting to me that at nine years old, he already, like knew, “I wanted to be top, top gymnast, top diving.” He had that kind of drive. Did you see that?

Did he always want to do that or in anything he did or was it just in certain things?

Raising a gifted child

Gosia Betancourt: I, think it’s the mindset. Either you have it or you don’t. Yes, you can kind of work and grow. But it, truly is… he is a neurodivergent child. He’s a gifted child, so a lot of times since he was little, and I think when I had him tested, Actually, this is another funny story I have to share.

When he was in school before, the teacher walked up to me and said like, “Well,” when he was five or six years old in preschool or whatever, the pre-K, “K, well, your child is always last to finish their works and whatever.” And I have to say, I’m originally from Poland, so we have so much respect for authority, for teachers.

I actually started apologizing to the teacher. “I’m so sorry. Is there anything I’ve done wrong? Maybe I’m not giving him enough attention.” I started blaming myself, like literally.

Andrea Marie: Of course. Like a mom, as moms do.

Gosia Betancourt: What do I need to do? You know, so instead of trying to figure out… and then after that, it actually, when I had him tested, you know, for his giftedness or whatever they call it, I actually shared this incident.

Academic expectations and perfectionism

Gosia Betancourt: I’m like, “Well, my son is, you know, the teacher has said that he’s last to complete his assignments or, you know, all the feedback.” And then after we received the results from the psychologist, from the doctor, you know, results, she’s telling me, ” Gosia, no wonder he’s last to finish. He’s a perfectionist. He’s not here to give the sheet like this,” like to the teacher.

Like, “Okay, here it is, and it’s done.” I’m like, ” I’m gonna give you that sheet until I know that it meets my standards. Then I’m gonna give it to you.” Where probably 95% of children are like, “Well, here it is,” you know? I think these were the early signs how much he was actually taking everything so seriously in his life.

Either I’m gonna do the best I can, or I’m not gonna do it at all. And it’s like kind of, which is kinda nice, but that’s another one aspect that I need to be aware of, and at some point I need to, because he was still young, and even however it goes through the life, that at some point you just need to find a middle ground as well.

You know, our lives aren’t just black and white.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, it’s okay to get a wrong answer. Oh my goodness. That’s amazing. That’s so, so interesting. And then how does it with your two boys? Now your other son is involved in sports but not to the same level. But he does a variety of sports or?

Gosia Betancourt: That’s correct. So he did start at gymnastics for a couple years, then he, and we kind of did soccer at the same time, ’cause when you’re younger, you only have a couple hours here and there, weekends, tournaments, and it’s kinda light. But as the levels were progressing both, in both sports, you know, you needed to eliminate, so he end up choosing soccer, so he stayed there for a few years.

We’re small families, like height-wise, you know, we’re petite. So in soccer it’s hard because when you’re on a smaller side, you will be outran, out whatever. However, Jacob is gifted as well, so then he said like, “Mom, I’m actually, I don’t have to be so aggressive. I don’t have to be so running all over the field.

I actually see the angles. I’ll pass the ball in the correct angle to an aggressive, fast player who will be able to shoot and score.” I’m like, “Wow,” that was like, that’s a great observation, you know? But in the end, he still let go of soccer, so then we expose he loves golf now, and golf also has the angle, you know.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Yeah, that’s a lot of angles.

Gosia Betancourt: So we’re still very intentional, and it seems like he’s choosing the sports that it will go with his kind of interest, but at the same time capabilities and physical ca- like capacity, you know? Because in the end, you can’t pick basketball if you know you’re kinda on a small end. Before we had children, my husband and I, we were thinking like, I did want to have, like that was my personal dream, like involve them in some kind of sports and so they would enjoy themselves.

And then my husband and I, we were sitting and like, “Hey, where, what should we do?” And then he said, “Well, if I had…” My husband. ” If I had known that I’m going be like so small or, you know, whatever,” he says, “I should’ve been a jockey or a gymnast.” You know? And then I’m like, “Okay, so let’s try those two.”

So what happened, we end up here in Colorado, it’s like, “Okay, why don’t we go, let’s find a stable.” So the kids were like two years old, and we’re like, “Okay, we’ll, we’ll try that.” We’re taking them to, you know, to the stable, two and four, whatever, how old, however young, you know, age-wise.

And then as soon as we’re walking in to the stable, my face, my eyes is like swollen, red eyes. You know, I’m allergic.

Andrea Marie: Allergic.

Gosia Betancourt: So like, okay, we narrow that down. No little jockeys for our boys.

Andrea Marie: I would’ve been a great jockey, but my mom was allergic.

Gosia Betancourt: That’s it. Exactly. I would have been the, you know, the winner of the triple crown. But either way, but we’re actually watching that a lot too, so that’s why we kind of narrow down to gymnastics and other sports. yeah, Jacob, does everything else, but in a light way, skiing and golfing and he loves baseball or whatever.

So it’s in a light way, but I love it because in the end, he does need to have his energy kind of somewhere put out and it’s healthy for you. It’s good for you. And again, I’m very proud of him because in whatever sport, the recreational way, he tried to do his best he can. He sees his older brother succeeding, so he wants to show like, “Hey, I know I’m in the rec,” like I’ll do basketball, you know, YMCA or some other smaller stuff.

But he just wants to show that he still does the best in his capability. So we’re proud of him.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, that’s good. And it’s interesting with them being so close in age and yet one is just doing something so involved and probably so time-consuming. It’s probably, there’s so much going on probably in your family with just getting them to those different where they need to be or when they need to be there.

You said you were just in Norway.

The reality of elite youth sports

Gosia Betancourt: Exactly. So Josh, he does travels a lot, his competitions, whether here within the US or internationally. Last year he was competing in the Netherlands. This year we went to Norway. But here it’s actually amazing, thought I wanna share. Jacob, he’s not competing or doing anything, but it’s like, “Mom,” he’s a great negotiator, so he would tell me like, ” Mom, I really wanna go with you all.”

He goes, Josh is always with the team. But he says, “Jacob-” “I wanna go with you, Mom, because I wanna show my support for your brother.” I’m like, “Or do you wanna travel internationally?” You know, so of course we both laugh, but that’s his negotiation. Like, in the end, just as a, like, as a mom sharing at this point, I absolutely love traveling.

Personally, I actually traveled plus, minus about 65 countries in the world, around the world. So I have seen quite a lot of countries, experiences, cultures, you name it. I lived actually in Swaziland and worked there too. I studied in London, I studied in Rome, so I actually been all over. So now I’m actually a huge advocate for my children to travel.

it gives us a great opportunity when Josh is competing, but now with Jacob. So what I actually have been doing, and he, since he was, you know, young, he always goes with us, even though Josh goes with the team, but then I’m taking Jacob with me. Yeah. I love it because we, like, for example, last time we stopped in Iceland, and for me, every trip is so educational.

Yeah. He will basically, “Hey, you need to do research what we’re gonna see.” And then he will say, “We saw the glaciers, we saw the geysers, we saw the puffins or the northern lights.” And he studies and learns about it, and it’s just amazing. So- Yeah … then Jacob will only comment, I love that like, if somebody’s like, “Oh, wow, so you travel a lot?”

“Yeah, and I don’t even have to do any sports.” You know.

Andrea Marie: He might be the smarter one. He’s got the trip without the work.

Olympic goals and online school

Gosia Betancourt: Exactly. Well, no, it’s actually fantastic. It works amazing for our family. But it does affects our schooling because then Jacob is missing just as much as school as Josh. And Right even though all of our schools throughout the years have been extremely supportive, flexible, and engaging to help Josh in his training, so I do have to give every single school amazing, gratitude to them.

However, we did come to a point where Josh’s training, missing of schools due to competitions, due to injuries, doctor’s appointments, prevention, PT, OT, MRIs, X-rays, sports medicine doctors, it became literally weekly almost.

Andrea Marie: Uh huh.

Gosia Betancourt: so much timing that he would be missing training, in the morning and then obviously because he’s training now with a elite group, the intention for them to get ready for the US Olympic trials for the LA.

So he had to leave early from school, and then we came to a point, my son’s like, “Mom, I know we’ve been holding off for the online school, but I think we’re, I think we’re ready.”

Andrea Marie: Yeah

Gosia Betancourt: So it’s funny because usually we, the parents, we tell them like, “You’re gonna go to this school. You’re gonna do this.”

We kind of run their show. Mm-hmm. But I have learned over the years that I have to listen to them and hear their needs, and we as adults, I think we need to say like, “Okay, you’re telling me this. How I can help you?” And this is the moment when we started looking, exploring, trying to find the best fit or support for Josh.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Yeah, so now is he a sophomore in high school?

Gosia Betancourt: No. This is really incredible. He actually just graduated seventh grade, so he’s going to eighth grade, and he’s the youngest child in, on his team who’s made it, to the elite group.

Andrea Marie: Oh, wow, wow.

Gosia Betancourt: Cool as a parent.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

That’s amazing.

Gosia Betancourt: So most of his teammates are high schoolers, and that’s why when he started traveling with the team, he was one of the youngest one.

Sometimes I did still, at the beginning, I had to actually be as a parent, even though, because he was too young. Or even a funny story that as a team, I love our club. The coaches are amazing. And as a club, the elite group or the higher, children would actually go and do community service and would do some kind of involvement in our community.

And unfortunately, Josh couldn’t go because he was too young, because the minimum age is 12.

Andrea Marie: Oh, no. Oh.

Gosia Betancourt: All of his high school children went for the community service and served homeless or feeding or whatever it was, and just like, “Mom, I can’t go because I’m too young.”

Andrea Marie: Oh, no. Oh my goodness. Oh, that’s crazy. Wow, that is amazing. And we were talking little bit before we started recording about the school that he goes to. Now is it just Josh that goes or do they both go?

Balancing academics and athletics

Andrea Marie: Well, here is a negotiation as well. So yes, Josh has moved literally mid-school year, which we thought we will be, you know, able to wait until September so he could transition to Crimson Global Academy. And unfortunately, the pressure that was on his shoulder that he needed, because he does wants to have straight A’s, he does aims go to Stanford University and dive for the college there.

He understands that you do have to have great academics, and you to get in, you know, based on your capability, academic capabilities. He’s aware of that, and then diving. But he was just getting so stressed out, “Mom, I’m missing so much school.” And for example, most of the mornings that he would actually see the doctors, it’s ELA.

So literally for the past six months, he would be missing ELA, and he’s like, “Mom, even though the school allows me to be late and I’m not being punished for it,” but then it was hard him because he said like, “Mom, I would receive a sheet.” And I’m like, “Okay, write an essay.” And he’s like, “I would like to have some instructions, like help me.”

You know, like missing the class, and it has nothing to do with neither the school or my son. It was just not fair, so Josh said like, “Mom, I don’t know. I just need help. What can we do?” And then I started looking around, so then we found Crimson Global after thorough research. You know me, like I’ll either the best or I won’t it.

I’m that kind of a mom. And then when we did sign the contract starting September, but then when we realized like is there any way we can move sooner? So Josh moved already, in January or so, and then over the past few months, Jacob started watching and observing like, “Ooh, we love the flexibility. It feels like college.

You have so much, like you pick the classes like this, you can go.” And then Jacob, “I promise I’ll do my, you know, works. I’ll be very committed. Is there any chance I could do it too?” And guess what? I did ask my other son, Josh, “Do you think this would be a right fit for Jacob too? Do you think he will thrive and he’ll still be successful and have that social emotional support and everything what he needs?”

And I’d actually, even though Josh is only 13, I trust his, feedback because in the end, he actually does processes and thinks like an adult when you’re so mature and.

Mm-hmm. Right. Right.

Gosia Betancourt: Advanced in so many, ways in your life, including like he’s seventh grader, he did ninth grade math, so he was already advanced, so his mind is able and capable.

He did say like, “Mom, I think Jacob will do well, and he just needs to ensure that he, he stays on top of it.” He is– My other son, Jacob, is diagnosed with ADD, ADHD combined, so I was afraid that maybe that won’t be a right fit because you know how well he do. You know, he has executive functioning issues or stuff.

But we both transitioned them together because in the end, they both missed school at the same time because we travel as a family and so that’s what we’re doing. We love it.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, that makes sense ’cause yeah, if you need that flexibility if you’re traveling so much, so right. That’s so interesting. So you were saying it’s not like, it’s not like COVID school.,

Gosia Betancourt: Exactly. And that’s huge, and that’s what I was… At first I was afraid. I’m like, “Oh my goodness, we’re gonna transition to online school,” and then I’m like, “You won’t hear anything. You won’t be able to learn anything.” And so I actually, as I said, this was the part of my research, trying to understand how the school works and functions, and absolutely I’m so impressed even today when I’m been observing him for the past six months at school.

It is high tech. It’s like a professional business. When we have interviews like this or work calls for work, it’s literally all AI technology, top teachers, leading the classes. And I love the fact that their classes are recorded because then we know those classes will actually be exactly what needs to be.

I will actually share one thing what Josh, had shared with me that he was getting irritated in a sense. A lot of times when you do have such a limited time when you go to school, and then Josh every day he would tell me, “Mom, we’ve wasted 20 minutes, you know, at school, 20, 30 minutes because the teacher was trying to put the class down, like, so they would behave, they would listen.”

And for him, the 20 minutes were so valuable because he knows I came late and I have to leave early, and then the time when I’m, actually at school, it’s lunchtime. So I’m like, you know. So for him.

Andrea Marie: Uh huh, yeah.

Gosia Betancourt: Every minute was so precious and he was sharing, like, at the current school, at Crimson Global Academy, the teacher goes straight to the lessons.

We don’t have to shush anyone. Most of the students at CGA are either high-level athletes, musicians, or some kind of, activity they’re involved in where it takes a lot of their time to do, and that’s why they have chosen CGA, so they won’t have to sacrifice the academic portion, but have the flexibility and, you know, ability to continue growing, you know, academically and in continuing sports.

Or they’re families like mine for Jacob. They might like the flexibility of traveling, of having- you know, maybe going places and still learning because you can connect anywhere as long as you have Wi-Fi

Andrea Marie: yeah. That’s very true. Very true. That’s so cool. Well, we’ll have the link to the Crimson Global Academy in the show notes, so people can check it out for sure. One of the things that we always ask, all of the moms who come onto the show is if you can share an unhinged moment with us.

And it could be, you know, something that went, didn’t go quite right, something, you know, things were a little crazy.

I’m sure raising an elite athlete, you probably have something that has been a bit of a challenge. So do you mind sharing a moment with us?

Parenting lessons learned

Gosia Betancourt: I Every time Josh either is competing or training, as a parent, we never know what to say. We’re trying to be as supportive and help them to build their confidence and not hurt their feelings or whatever it is.

Andrea Marie: Yeah

Gosia Betancourt: It’s literally walking on ice. I’m sure all moms can relate with that.

Andrea Marie: Uh huh.

Gosia Betancourt: So I was, over the years, I was trying to figure out how I can help him, but also show my kind of love and support for him as well, and I did made mistakes. I did make a lot of kind of learning curves and experiences. So I think at first I would say like, “Oh wow, this was great,” whatever the, you know, he did.

And then he looked at me like, “Mom, you know it wasn’t. Why are you telling me this?” I’m like, “Okay, that’s not good.” And then another time I was like, “Josh, that wasn’t really good. Did you see?” And like, “Yes, I did see that.” So of course that was reaction. So I felt so embarrassed that I literally whatever I would be saying, and hurt in a sense, like how can I be better?

So what I’ve learned that every time he would compete, and obviously we all are judges and able to see all this, so basically I was, from now on, I’ve been telling him, it’s like, “Hey, I love watching you diving. I love, you know, watching you perform.” Because this way I’m not really, getting into him whether it was a good dive or a bad dive because in his mind he knows it wasn’t good or what we think it was great, but for his standards it isn’t.

So it’s been a good lesson is that I’ve learned and it like from now on just to say, “I love watching you diving. I love, you know.”

Andrea Marie: Yeah. I like that advice because I think it, it really takes out anything about them, and it’s just all about our experience, which is what we, you know, we can share authentically about and be like, “Hey, I’m having a blast. This is super fun for me. I know that you’re probably, you know, upset, but this was a good day for me.”

I don’t know.

Gosia Betancourt: I got it.

Andrea Marie: I mean, I think anytime you’re watching your kid, of course you don’t, you want them to succeed as much as possible. But, you know, for me, it just all goes so fast that anytime I could spend watching them, even if it was a long, hot baseball game where they didn’t score any runs, it’s still, still fun to be there and experience, get to experience them doing their thing

Gosia Betancourt: Maybe one thing I’ll add, you know, or share, just now literally last night or yesterday, he Sunday night at 1:00 AM, he came from Zones with his team. Unfortunately, this time I couldn’t come to watch him. Literally in the middle of the meet, I couldn’t watch live stream. They didn’t have it.

He texts me. I’m only able to see the scores through the scoring, and he texts me, “I’m having a horrible meet.” Like he’s already stressing out. And of course, as a parent we’re like, “Oh my gosh,” you know, “What do I do now?” You know? And then I say, “Did you talk to coach?” You know, so typically in those moments, I would also highly recommend communicating and collaborating with the coach because they know how to help them in those moments.

It’s funny because I was really surprised that in the middle of the meet he would actually text me. So that mean they, they trust us, they love us, they feel like th- this is the place we can relieve with the parents. But then guess what I did? I said, “Did you talk to your coach?” And then, because the coaches know how to help you at that moment.

And guess what? Literally that was the first one, two, three dives. In the end, he actually listened to that advice. He went to his coach, talked to him what he’s experiencing during the moment, and then in the end, actually I we were very proud. He stepped up. He left the two, three dives behind him because it’s a one dive at a time.

You literally have to focus. Just forget how you did before. You have six more chances of the other divers, dives. But the thing is, it’s just like one time. You, there’s no redos, there’s no retries. You just have to literally perform. So in the end, he actually took fourth place, which is amazing. He’s only 13, and the children who took first, second, and third are two years older.

This is perfect. We are right there where we need to be.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Wow, that’s so great. I bet that’s just so wonderful to see them growing and learning and, you know, life lessons about kinds of things like that are so important and, so beyond his years. Some of us don’t learn until we’re 50.

Gosia Betancourt: About it

Andrea Marie: You just leave it behind.

Gosia Betancourt: No, exactly. And then actually at the end when he did realize his scores and placements, then he actually admitted, and I was very proud of him, he says like, “Mom, it wasn’t actually so bad as I thought.” So at the moment he thought he’s not doing well,

Andrea Marie: Right.

Gosia Betancourt: So that’s why like I think the more we can help them realize, like live the moment, don’t look back, think ahead, like what you can do.

And then I think the lesson of that meet for him was don’t judge. Just try to do your best and then one dive at a time.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, yeah.

Gosia Betancourt: Work life, you know, in all our lives too, because we all like worry and then we’re, you know, trying to think ahead. I’m like, “Okay, this is what I’m doing today.

This is my challenge today, how I’m gonna handle it.”

Andrea Marie: Yeah. I love that. Well, Gosia, this has been so fun. The time has just flown by. Thank you so much for coming on Moms Unhinged, talking about raising an elite athlete and two athletic boys, I know, and all the challenges and thing, and joys that come with that.

So thank you so much and, we’ll have links to the Crimson Global Academy in the show notes, but thanks again for coming on.

Gosia Betancourt: Thank you so much. My pleasure.

Andrea Marie: Thanks for listening and make sure you subscribe, share, and follow us on the socials to get more comedy clips.