The quarantine garden no one wanted

Tiffany Burke: I would say my most unhinged moment where life went off the rails was during the quarantine and everybody being at home. That drove me batty. Everyone was like baking bread, which is like my, that is my Achilles heel.

And I was like, are you trying to make me fatter than I already am? And I lost it and I ended up building like three gardens , and protest against the bread and pizzas and waffles and french toast that they were making every day.

Andrea Marie: We are Moms Unhinged, a nationally touring standup comedy show. Join us in our podcast as we explore everything from motherhood, midlife, crisis, marriage, divorce, online dating, menopause, and other things that irritate us.

Hello everyone and welcome to Moms Unhinged, the podcast. I am here with the fantastic, the lovely Tiffany Burke. Welcome Tiffany.

Tiffany Burke: Thank you for having me, Andrea. Always a pleasure to talk to you.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Super fun, super fun. And Tiffany is one of our Atlanta based comedians. And you were just doing some shows in Mississippi and Alabama last week.

Tiffany Burke: Yes, on top of those, one of many shows I did last week. But yes, I was, it was a pleasure. I actually got to spend some great time with two of my favorite comedians, also from Atlanta, Amanda Marks and Amy Brown. It was the best girls road trip ever.

Raising two sons twelve years apart

Andrea Marie: Awesome. So tell us about, you’ve got two kids, right? Two?

Tiffany Burke: Two boys, 21 and 12. I love sons. Yes, love my sons. They’re the best. The gap, it is been great. I love the nine year gap.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. I’m sure you get lots of questions about the gap, right?

Tiffany Burke: All the time. All the time. All the time. People are like, mm, what was? I was like, yeah, no. He tricked me. I wasn’t planning on, I thought I was done.

Andrea Marie: Yeah well, you just never know. That’s the thing is about any of this, like, you know, it’s just sometimes we can plan all we want and it doesn’t matter.

Tiffany Burke: Exactly, exactly. And I’m really hoping perimenopause is kind to me, or I even get it. Like my doctor was like, oh, you’re not perimenopause. You’re very fertile. You could still, she was like, you got like a good 15 more years and I was like.

Andrea Marie: Oh.

Tiffany Burke: 60? No ma’am, I don’t think we should be doing that. Like, no.

Andrea Marie: Oh boy. Yeah, I had a friend who had a baby at 43. She was like, I thought we were done. And even also one of our comedians had one. She was like, yeah, I don’t Janae Burris she, yeah. It’s too wild.

So tell us a little bit about how you got started in comedy. How did that, what did that look like?

From Toastmasters to trying improv class

Tiffany Burke: So for me, I own a management consulting company and I started that now about 14 years ago. And one of my business partners convinced me to take, well, I was doing Toastmasters first to get comfortable with talking to delegates and talking to senators and whatnot. And I hated Toastmasters.

I thought it was horrible. It was the worst. I just, I didn’t like it. And so I did until I loathed Toastmasters. And my business partner convinced me to take an improv class. And during my first improv class afterwards, my teacher pulled me to the side and he was like, look, I don’t know what you do for your day-to-day life.

And he’s a successful actor. He’s on HBO, he’s like on all these awesome things. He does comedic acting, but he pulled me to the side. He was like, I don’t know what you do, for your day-to-day life, but I need you to know that you’re a comedic actress and this is what you should be doing. He was like, this is your gift.

 And I really felt that way the first time I hit the stage. Like I loved it. I was, it was just, yes. And it was so easy for me. And so I did that for, I’ve been continuously doing it for 14 years now. But about seven years into that I was with a team and we would host shows and my produce shows, so I would hire a lot of comedians.

To be the in between in our improv shows. And the more I started meeting the comedians, you know, after our show, they would come up to me and be like, why are you with these losers? Why aren’t you doing standup? And so I took Lace Larrabee’s female comedy class. I was like in her first or second class she has now, she’s had like a ridiculous amount of classes.

But I took her class. So that I could learn how to write jokes. And after that I’ve just, I’ve been booked since, I think this is like my eighth year in comedy, doing professional standup, and I don’t think I can imagine my life without it. Yeah, I don’t know what that would look like, but it’s the best decision I ever made in my life.

Andrea Marie: That’s so, so awesome. So awesome. I love that, I love that. And it’s so great ’cause so many of our comedians. Have started with the class and it is like, people don’t, I don’t think people understand how important writing is to standup comedy. They think, oh, I just, you know, I’m funny with my friends and I just like, you know, they laugh at me so I should do it.

But writing is so key to standup comedy and having a tight set and everything.

Becoming a student of the art of comedy

Tiffany Burke: To me, that was my biggest, I knew I was already a naturally funny person. Like that’s something I’ve been told my whole life. But I respect art, and I’m a big student of life, so if there’s something that I wanna do, I very much like to take, I love class. I’m a super nerd. I’m a class taker.

Andrea Marie: Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Burke: If there’s a class online that you can get for free, if it’s an eClass, like any of the classes, I’m signing up for ’em, I’m taking them. So yeah, like it’s it, and I like to write. I like to write, I like to tell stories. And I just like the, I love the art of comedy, but I love the structure that comes along with that, and I think a lot of even with painting or any type of art, yes, it’s art, but there’s lessons to it, there’s a structure.

And so I wanted to respect that art. And I wanted to do it good. So I took the class and it stayed with me. I’ve taken tons of comedic writing classes since then. I’m always one of those people. Every year I take a class or a skill to hone my skills to improve what I’m already doing, a comedy, so that I can just be more of a well-rounded comedian.

I like to do a lot of sketch comedy. As you know, I make a lot of sketches. I like to also do a lot of standup. I love improv. Like anything that’s comedic, like I wanna be there and in that frame.

Andrea Marie: Mm-hmm. That’s fun. I love it, I love it. Yeah. I did improv as well, and we were talking about that before. And those are all two different, completely different skills. People don’t, people get ’em mixed up, but I’m like, oh no, they’re so different.

Tiffany Burke: So different.

Losing business and learning to honor grief differently

Andrea Marie: I mean, they can definitely inform each other, but yeah, for sure. Now, we were talking a little bit about, before we got started, just like kind of the grief that you’ve been going through as a mom and as a woman and just in your life lately. Just loss.

And I think that is something that we don’t talk about enough as moms and as women especially, because a lot of times we just have to keep pushing through.

So what have your losses been about and how have you dealt with that?

Tiffany Burke: So for me it’s been a couple of different, it’s been losing people. It’s also been losing business. I’d say over the last five years I’ve, and probably a lot of people in Amer, or people in the world, period. As a world we ex all experienced the quarantine and the pandemic. And we lost a lot of people.

I’m a Cancer, so I’m a super empathetic person. Like I feel the feels I’ve lost both of my grandparents, my last existing grandparents during that time period. So my grandpa died at the end of 2019, and then my grandmother died exactly six months to the day that he died. And then after that I lost a whole bunch of cousins.

I lost friends. I’ve lost so many friends. I’ve lost a lot of comedy friends, and people that I grew up with. So it’s just been like back to back, to back, to back. A nd then at the top of the year, thanks to the new administration, I’m a woman owned, a minority owned business because, so due to DEI, I’ve lost a whole bunch of contracts.

And then with the big bill, I lost another set of contracts. And I think people forget that business and those type of things are. Another form of grief, losing that is just like losing a baby or losing, like, you know, another part of your family.

So it’s been very important for me to honor those people. That’s a big way on how I handle grief is I like to honor them. I like to acknowledge the people that have passed. So I have literally an ancestral of friends and family that I’ve lost through my life, especially in the last couple of years. And then I like to also acknowledge, what I had as a business owner. And give gratitude and thanks for that time period.

And really sit in the understanding of this was a period I got to flourish during this period. I’ve now lost this period. But also teaching my kids, like even when we lose, we have to continue to be in remembrance, being in celebration. Take our time to grieve and then figure out what’s next. So I’m in figuring out what next stage, which has been hard.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Tiffany Burke: But also really rewarding because it’s allowed me to tap back in to what brings me joy, and figure out where that is and who brings it out of me.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, yeah. It can be such a scary time because, I mean, your job and career is so much of your identity. A lot of times, you really identify with what you do as a profession, as a person. And, and it’s hard. It’s like when it’s sort of disappears, it’s a little scary.

And I think we’re in a time now too, where everything is kind of in flux.

Tiffany Burke: Mm-hmm.

Andrea Marie: It’s hard to see that. Okay, yeah, I’m gonna get something else. I’m gonna be able to feed my family, especially as yourself, being a single mom too, that’s a huge thing.

Tiffany Burke: And I’ve noticed, for me what’s been great. Thank God for comedy. And I say this every day other people I’d be like, if it hadn’t been for the tour or for my other shows, like, those things have really kept me afloat. So I’m happy and that goes back to stepping out on faith and adding something else in my life that wasn’t totally focused around my career and my job because I know a lot of people.

Andrea Marie: Mm-hmm.

Tiffany Burke: They make their career and their job, their only thing. And I had decided eight years ago that, you know, I loved the joy that comedy was bringing me, and I wanted that to just as essential a part of my life as my job was. And I am lucky that I had that extra stream of income from that that has really kept me afloat.

Andrea Marie: Mm-hmm. Yeah,

that’s it. I know having, and yeah, like you said, not only having the extra added income, but also just the outlet too. I mean, that’s huge to be able to, you know, not be feeling just completely adrift to have that anchor. You go back to that touchstone of comedy and just being able to, Nancy Norton likes to say, play with our pain, you know?

Teaching her kids emotional honesty during hard times

Andrea Marie: So you know, given the fact that you’ve had all this loss and this grief and things like that are you, how are you able to show your kids that it’s okay to grieve, to be sad?

Are you able to you know, get through it while still having to be a mom?

Tiffany Burke: I would say one, my sons know that if I’m in the mood to grief, I’m gonna grieve. I’m not gonna not let them see that. I always teach my sons that all emotions are healthy emotions. One, I’m a Cancer, so, you know, we feel the feels. We’ll go through all the things. I think that that’s what makes us probably the most emotionally.

People try to call us cry babies, but we’re really not, we’re probably some of the emotionally, most emotionally stables people of the Zodiac sign because we actually go through all of the stages. And get through it. I teach my sons that emotions are good, they’re healthy for you.

You should have an equal amount of happiness and sadness. Like you can’t have one without the other because that’s what makes the happy so good. You know, you can’t have joy without a little pain. That’s what makes the joy so good. But it’s because you understand the low parts and if you can’t, it can’t always be a high, like that’s just not life ’cause everything is in cycles.

So I make sure that they understand like some days. I’m not, it’s okay if I’m not the best me and that’s okay ’cause tomorrow I might be better. I might be 10 times better. But you know, they’ll know if I’m in a place and I’ll let them know. I’m very honest with my emotions be like, Hey, not in a good mood today.

Not having the best day. So you know where my energy is. Also, how do you feel? And I like to check in with them. How are you feeling? Are you okay? What are you thinking about? Because the same, a way that it’s affecting me, it might be affecting them and they might not feel comfortable expressing that.

So I wanna make sure that I make our house a safe space for their emotions.

Andrea Marie: That’s so good. Because my boys are like, I’ll ask them, I’ll be like, how? Alright, just doing a little check. How’s everyone doing? How are you doing emotionally? And my boys are like, oh god, mom. Oh, you know, they just don’t wanna hear about that. They’re like, good mom.

Tiffany Burke: Exactly the 12-year-old, he’s starting to turn on me a little bit lately. Like, I was like, who are you? Because he is been, he got into, he’s going to public school this year, so that’s been a transition. But I like to re remind him like, there’s nothing wrong with being emotionally available.

There’s nothing wrong with being emotionally vulnerable. And your people, your people allow you to hold or hold space for you. Little space for those emotions, you know? And I try to teach him to choose good friends that are open to that, you know?

Tiffany’s most unhinged parenting moment

Andrea Marie: Yeah, that’s so important. So one of the, things I love to ask on this podcast is do you have an unhinged moment or a crazy time where things went really off the rails? Share that with our listeners.

Tiffany Burke: Definitely. I would say my most unhinged moment where life went off the rails was during the quarantine and everybody being at home. That drove me batty. Everyone was like baking bread, which is like my, that is my Achilles heel.

And I was like, are you trying to make me fatter than I already am? And I lost it and I ended up building like three gardens , and protest against the bread and pizzas and waffles and french toast that they were making every day. And they ended up,

Andrea Marie: Oh man.

Tiffany Burke: Yeah, my garden became punishment for everyone to come work in, and I feel like that was my most unhinged parenting moment.

I actually. Yeah, I instilled physical labor on everyone and made them part of my experiment, which has now actually become my favorite, has become the favorite thing of everybody is the garden. ‘Cause we have our own collards, we have our own kale, we have our own rosemary, Italian oregano, Greek oregano, just all kinds of herbs.

Peppers, cucumbers, you name it, we have it out there. So it was the most unhinged thing that became a healthy, positive skill. Yeah, that’s fun. Yeah, it’s just like get to work, kids.

I was like, you don’t need to be inside on the wifi all day long. Everybody does two hours outside. Because that power bill during the quarantine ridiculous.

Andrea Marie: Oh man, I was eating all the bread. I was. Yeah, I was just eating all the bread. I was just like, let’s go bread. I’m on board. But yeah, that we were also walking a lot.

Tiffany Burke: Yeah, I was like, no, this is a setup and I will not fall for this.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Tiffany Burke: Y’all are trying to make me fat and I will not. I got so tired of sourdough, like I’ve focaccia, sourdough. And I was like, why can’t anybody make like something delicious, like hollow bread? You know? If you gonna gimme a bread, give me a bread that I’ll binge on.

Which, I must admit we did. We got these. There was a high-end restaurant. That had like gone under during the quarantine. And so they gave away, well, they sold boxes of French croissants. It was the, like croissants that they had shipped from France. So I got boxes of those and that was the one carb that I did. Like, I would, I went, I was going croissant crazy. But it was the best. It was the best. I loved it.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, yeah. It’s definitely challenging to resist a good croissant.

Tiffany Burke: I mean, French bread is the only bread that.

Andrea Marie: Well, good. No, you. It’s delicious. It’s delicious. Well I have totally loved talking to you. Thank you so much for joining us, Tiffany. Why don’t you let our our listeners know where they can connect with you?

Where to find Tiffany on tour and online

Tiffany Burke: You can find me online, any of the platforms at @therealtiffanyba.

You can also find me at my website, www.therealtiffanyba.com. Usually I’ll have my upcoming shows listed. If you happen to be in Asheville, North Carolina coming up next week, I will be featuring for Baron Vaughn on Friday at Model City Comedy and then head lighting that Sunday as well at Rap Brewing Company.

It should be a great time and then they can always find me on the Moms Unhinged tour.

Andrea Marie: Awesome, awesome. Yeah, and depending on when this has come out, just check Tiffany’s website for all her upcoming dates ’cause uh, who knows? I’m not exactly sure when this episode’s gonna come out. But I know you’ll have some upcoming dates on your calendar and people can check you out all over, all over US thanks again Tiffany for joining

Tiffany Burke: Thank you Andrea. Always a pleasure to see you. And have be here.

Andrea Marie: Thanks for listening and make sure you subscribe, share, and follow us on the socials to get more comedy clips.