Lisa Lane: Teenagers are scary. I mean, like clown-in-the-sewer scary. They just turn on you overnight, don’t they? I tell people I’m a new mom.

The children I gave birth to, yes. Several years ago. Sure, sure, sure. But those kids, those sweet little things that brought us such joy and love and hope? They’re gone.

Andrea Marie: We are Moms Unhinged, a nationally touring standup comedy show. Join us in our podcast as we explore everything from motherhood, midlife, crisis, marriage, divorce, online dating, menopause, and other things that irritate us.

 I am so excited to be talking to the amazing, the wonderful Lisa Lane. I always love introducing you like that, Lisa Lane.

Lisa Lane: I know. Look at us with our comedy glasses.

Andrea Marie: I know, I know.

Lisa Lane: We look like team, don’t we? That waiter, server in North Carolina. I remember that. He said, you ladies have great glasses. And I went, oh my God. We do look like a comedy troop. We really do.

Andrea Marie: We’re little bit, little bit funky, little bit fun, little bit sassy little.

Lisa Lane: We’re so sassy. Good to be here, andrea. How are you?

Andrea Marie: I am good. I’m good. It was my birthday yesterday and you wish me happy birthday. So thank you much. And yeah, we’re just, I always love these conversations. Getting to say hello. I don’t think I’ve had a really good conversation with you since the new year, so I’m happy.

Lisa Lane: I know that’s right. I think, and it’s so funny ’cause I’ve done a couple local Moms Unhinged, right. I have one coming up Thursday. I keep thinking you’re on those I’m not Like I have a little birthday present for you. And I was like, well, I’m gonna see Andrea. And I like, oh no I’m not. It’s just weird. It’s weird, I haven’t seen you since November.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, it’s a long time. I know.

Lisa Lane: I also like what listening to this podcast for the same exact reasons when I need a little fix and my Moms Unhinged galleys, you know, and I’m not on tour with them right now. I can listen to half an hour of them telling their story. It’s pretty fun.

Andrea Marie: Right, right. I know. I love it.

Lisa Lane: And happy birthday. I am just one of the many who are so glad you were born. Always happy to celebrate you and Moms Unhinged.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, for sure, for sure. It’s so fun. We’ve got a great lineup of shows here starting kicking off 2026. And you have, you’ve been all over with Moms Unhinged, everywhere from Alaska to New York.

Lisa Lane: New York, Alaska to New York.

Andrea Marie: And you’ve been out to Atlanta too, haven’t you? Yeah.

Lisa Lane: I went to Atlanta briefly. Yeah, I did last year. In fact, around this time, I think..

Andrea Marie: So all over, yeah,

Lisa Lane: Atlanta. I did a little in the south. Yeah, I got to go oh, right outside Nashville, Lebanon.

Andrea Marie: Yep.

Lisa Lane: I did, I did. Yep. I did Austin and

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Arizona, all of them.

Lisa Lane: And I mean, and I continue to for Moms Unhinged and otherwise, I really am a big deal in Iowa and South Dakota.

Andrea Marie: Iowa, Iowa. You’re crushing in Iowa, crushing it.

Lisa Lane: Crushing, crushing. And they are the nicest people in

Andrea Marie: So nice.

Lisa Lane: They really are. My mom is from Iowa, so proud Iowa girl. That’s easy. But seriously, all the moms on hinge shows we’ve ever done there. And then I’ve done a couple of, you know, just me for a corporate kind of event. And golly, they’re nice.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, yeah. And you’re about to hopefully do some cruise ships coming up maybe.

Lisa Lane: I am, I’ve booked my first cruise ship for the year. Yeah, they’re coming up in a couple months. Yeah, that would be interesting. I’ve never been on a cruise before, Andrea. I never thought I was into cruises. I’m not a cruise girl, but years ago, the one, maybe one goal I ever had in comedy, I heard somebody say, in fact, it was at a clean competition and it was Phil Ole and he came back into the green room at Comedy Works in Denver and told us all, “Hey, this you’re doing right here. Doing clean comedy is a really smart thing to do.”

And he just mentioned like, you know, that’s how you get the cruise ships. And I was a newbie comic, just all of it. And I went, wait, cruise ships, did you say what? How did, what, how does that happen? And I had no idea how to pursue.

But anyway, they eventually they pursued me. And I get to start that this year and I think I’m gonna love it. Maybe I’m not gonna love it. I don’t know. We’ll see if I don’t, if I don’t love it, I don’t have to do it.

Andrea Marie: I think you’re gonna have a great time.

Lisa Lane: I love the ocean, and it is so clean.

I mean, Moms Unhinged, we do PG 13 comedy, right? The cruise ships, they’re, I mean, they are expecting us literally G rated. And so that is such an interesting challenge, isn’t it?

Andrea Marie: That is because we do have some innuendos that happen there and, it can get a little spicy.

Lisa Lane: I think this is funny, and I think it’ll be interesting. I am pretty convinced also for some, some other shows I’ve done recently that were like that, like no clean. Clean. Clean. There might be kids in the audience. I think you, we can still get away with innuendo.

Not everybody can, you know what I mean? And that is the fun part of it, that line, like when I tell my jokes about my teenage son, and I mean, really the jokes are about his sexuality and me being freaked out by it. The lobster jokes, right? And those used to be my jokes about sex, my sex life.

And now I mean, it’s such a weird thing, comedy. I’ve converted them into talking again, more euphemistically about my, with my son and his girlfriend when they’re in high school. And it’s more fun.

fun

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: It is more fun than the shocking, which was very fun while in comedy.

Andrea Marie: I mean, I love your joke where you talk about, the Popsicle eating contest that they, you know, they would have. And then love how you’d start coming up with the arbitrary rules like no blankets.

Lisa Lane: Exactly. Right, yeah. And do you know that part, that unhinged like, and I say now that’s exactly the moment I became unhinged. That stuff like adding that no popsicles in the house. And then my brain just went to actual things that I thought like there should be no in any cars of any teenagers. That part of that joke happened at a workshop in your living room.

Andrea Marie: Oh yeah. Oh, that’s right. Oh my.

Lisa Lane: I was already starting to tell the jokes about my son’s girlfriend in middle school eating a Popsicle and watching that and that making me very uncomfortable. And then we all, it was a group session, about a year and a half ago. And in fact, I think that it partly came out of some of the moms, especially moms who have younger sons, amongst us, they hate those jokes.

They hate any mention. Ugh, you’re talking about your son’s sexuality. I’m like, that’s my whole schtick man.

Andrea Marie: It’s coming up. deal with it.

Lisa Lane: Teenagers and their hormones and how scary they are. That’s my whole message to the world.

Andrea Marie: This is very scary.

Lisa Lane: Scary. They’re scary.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: Yeah, and they continue to be scary, don’t they? They continue to break your heart.

They really do.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. And we were kind of talking a little bit about that with the holidays. You’ve got two, you’ve got two boys, they’re older, right. And well, how old are they now?

Lisa Lane: Two grown sons, let’s see, they are 27 and 26, almost 28. So to almost 27, 28. Golly. You believe? I don’t remember. I think that’s true. So that, and they are both in graduate school. They are. Grown. I really didn’t do much comedy until they were outta the house. But I had started, I wrote a couple books for parents of teenagers and I got into comedy originally just to have a live audience to practice.

‘Cause I was doing like PTSA groups and about well, my book, my, the book, what I consider my life’s work is Beyond Mama Bear, how to Survive the Balancing Act of Parenting Adolescents, because I really felt my own family falling apart and I got very curious. I was teaching high school at the time as well.

I got very curious about what the hell happens here. What is this disruption in the family life? And I, the biggest thing is I was teaching and I noticed some of these kids are coming out of it better than others. Some of them are weathering this storm of their own hormones. Some families are weathering it better than others.

And I literally, for my own survival, got curious about what’s going on there. And then that turned into a real project. I mean, interviewing hundreds of parents and adolescents and a lot of research and all of that, to figure out what is it. And what I came up with for myself to survive is that I really felt like it was important that we remain vigilant during the hormonal and teenage years.

And I saw so many parents not doing that, and I compared it to, it’s like we’re Mama Bear. When the kids are young, we’re all we know. You know, we respond to their cries and we get our role. Also, we feel like I’m Mama Bear. And then we’re exhausted by the time. They become teenagers and then they are very actively pushing us away.

That’s their job. And they’re very actively telling us, we don’t need you anymore. We don’t need you. And I realize, oh no, they do. They need us in different ways, but my God, because they’re so vulnerable at those ages.

Andrea Marie: Yeah,

Lisa Lane: so vulnerable.

Andrea Marie: for sure. So vulnerable. And that was a scary thing for me. I was like, oh God, they’re gonna try things and they’re gonna, you know, they’re going to, it could be bad or it could be, they could get into a situation. I mean, especially boys. You’re like, oh. Well, I mean, I don’t know.

I think parents, I think there’s just a different relationship with girls, obviously, and there’s just more, a little more vigilance in certain areas and, but like yeah, it’s just more communication.

Lisa Lane: It is interesting. Right, and more vulnerable in certain areas because I think societally we’re used to thinking that. I mean, there’s a who? Somebody truly, I think a standup has that joke about being a father of a, maybe it’s not even a standup. Maybe it’s just an old, like Reader’s Digest joke. Being a parent of boys. Being a parent of girls, you have to worry about all the pricks out there.

Being a parent of boys, you only have to worry about that one prick, you know, at a time. And so it can be easier, but no. Oh my gosh. Boys can be so vulnerable in this society. And what is, honestly, what is masculinity? What is it to be right? What it is? What is it to be a good, a good man? I say in my little act, I say sometimes that.

You know, but I’m proud, I know I raise good boys because they know how to treat women. And I say they know, they understand consent. I think my boys understand consent and I mean, Andrea, to the point that they did not consent for some years to their photos on the family Christmas card.

Andrea Marie: Oh Yeah. Yeah,

Lisa Lane: of thing.

Yeah. There was a, I don’t consent to you, mom, don’t post pictures of us when we’re out, when like we’re on a, tropical vacation that cost us. A lot of money and I just wanna post a picture, you know, like here we are having fun in the ocean and they don’t consent to that. They’re bitching about don’t put me on some social media.

And when I say like, come on you guys, we spent a lot of money. Let’s just put it out there. They use my own values against me, like serial killers. And they come in and go, mom, really? Is that why we’re here? Hang out? What is it? Hang up and hang out, mom. Really? What? Oh my God. And then the Christmas card thing. The one son, truly one year said, I don’t want my picture on the Christmas card.

And I said to him, what kind of mother would I be? What would people think if I put, if I just sent out a Christmas card with just not one of my sons just missing? And he literally goes mom really do. I thought we weren’t supposed to care about what other people thought of you. I thought you were better than like that.

Consent. So, and you know, that’s how it is. And that brings me to yeah, you were mentioning the holidays.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: Okay, so on our Moms Unhinged podcast, it That’s funny. We each submitted, submitted little bits about the holidays. That was very funny. Listen, and I submitted a little clip and I actually made it into a reel because in the past like two months, I have been convinced that I really need to work on my social media. Right? I haven’t worked on it. I don’t care.

Andrea Marie: Oh yeah.

Lisa Lane: Blah, blah. We all get it. Well, obviously it will behoove me, especially with things like cruise ships on my horizon and stuff like this, right? Like it doesn’t hurt. It doesn’t it doesn’t hurt Moms Unhinged, the more of us that have more followers. So over the holidays, I made a reel that doubled my Instagram followers.

Not a lot of followers to begin with, but I went from 2000 to about 4,000 in a week with this one reel, and the reel was, “Hey parents, you only need one holiday hack. One tip to survival holiday season, no matter how old your kids are, but especially if they’re adolescent all the way through their twenties. Just lower your expectations.”

That’s it, right? I mean, this very funny video about it, I have that’s old content for me. I mean, that’s just, that’s rehashing old content, meaning it’s the truth. And I have been resolutely that person, especially for like the past 10 years of my life, I have had no expectations at the holidays.

My kids, one of my kids especially, had a pretty rough time during adolescence. We got through it. I got divorced seven years ago. Not gonna make a big deal about the holidays. I’m gonna be. I mean, honestly, I felt like I’ve been the doormat, like, Hey, if your dad has requirements of you, hey, I’m easy. I’m easy. No, no pressure. This year for the first time in eight years. Both of my sons were going to be home at Christmas for the first time. My older son lives and goes to school full-time in France. So I have, I mean, he’s not home for the holidays. I let myself get so excited, Andrea. And I mean, I’m newly married now, remarried, whatever.

And I mean whatever. I decorated the house. I went all out for the first time, like I let myself also in these. It’s a crazy time. We all have heavy hearts, right? I let myself go. Little holiday magic, I leaned in, you should see. I mean, it looked like Christmas threw up in my house. I put, and I was just imagining the two of them coming home.

I have not been done anything in the past 10 years, like get tickets to the Nutcracker or Christmas Carol or the parade, you know, Zoo Lights. Because like whatever, hey, hey. And this year, often at the holidays, we kind of regret it. We go, oh, I wanna go to the zoo lights. Oh shoot, it’s sold out. So I was like, this year that plan ahead. Exactly.

So we had tickets to this and that, and the Georgetown Railroad up in Georgetown, Colorado. My mom’s birthday, the boys are going be home. We’re gonna take the train ride.

So the son from France made it all the way home. No problem. The son who lives domestically but is in graduate school in the Pacific Northwest. Well, a year before. So October of the year before he and his girlfriend adopted a cat, and it was an old feral cat that was very sick. They couldn’t put it back out into the wild, so it was either going to be euthanized, but they adopted this sweet cat.

They’re graduate students. They’re very poor. So this cat’s been interesting. You know, it’s needed some medical da, da, da. Anyway, this cat got an infection and they did not come home for Christmas.

Andrea Marie: Oh man.

Lisa Lane: A sick cat. Okay?

Andrea Marie: Oh God.

Lisa Lane: And it was, I mean, my son called me and was like, I’m not coming home.

And I started doing the mom thing. I started fixing it. I started, well, hey, how about we do this? Why don’t you just board the cat? Why don’t you do this? And at one point he told, well, we really wanna board the cat. I understand this is rude, that this is the voice I do for my sons, but I can’t help it.

Well, we were actually pet sitting for some friends of ours, and while we were pet sitting, the, the pet died. And I was like, recently, God, how come we didn’t hear about that? That seems like life changing. He was like, well, I mean, it was a gecko.

Andrea Marie: I hate to laugh.

Lisa Lane: Thank you. No, sorry. Laugh. Okay, this is very important that you laugh. Very important to me that you laugh because then it got this cat. So I was like, why don’t you just come home? Like you come a few days and then you go back and your girlfriend come and see her family the other few days. ‘Cause they, and the truth is.

I mean, how do you tell anybody else in the family? Oh, by the way, by the way, Andrea, this is my good son. I’m not lying. They’re both. This kid is truly, he’s just, he’s fun, he’s social. He is truly the more. The other one’s a little prickly sometimes. You know, if honestly the other one had said, I can’t come home and he lives in France, I would’ve been like, you know, bummer.

We’ll miss you. This kid and his girlfriend, we love her. We’re like, wait, you are the fun ones. You’re fun at all the games. It’s the Georgetown train. And he called. And like I said, I was trying to fix it like, well, why don’t you come for a few days? We’ll change your tickets. Hey, we’ll pay for a boarding.

What is it that you need? Right? And I realized, so this is what I’m getting to. They’ll break your heart forever, but also as your kids become adults. It’s so interesting, isn’t it? I realize I was inelegant on that phone call. I gave him a hard time in my defense, man, I was gobsmacked. I was what? I said, I think I said like, I’m gonna feel like you’re choosing a cat over your family.

And then I realized a few hours later, I thought he wasn’t asking for help. He wasn’t asking for advice. He was calling to tell me that they had made a decision that they know is gonna be unpopular. Right? And it’s hard for them. They have made a decision. They have a boundary they have just told us about.

And I went, okay, it’s my job now to support that boundary. So what I did, I mean, I spent one day being very sad and in fact, that was the day I was watching the toddler of one of our Moms Unhinged comics. Janae Burris. I had Ezra here, so she picked him up after a show that night. And she’s the first person I told, my son just told me he’s not coming home.

Now, I don’t know if you’ve met Janae’s mother, but she is quite a strict granny and like, you know, you don’t mess around, you don’t play that lady. And Janae was like, what now?

Andrea Marie: I know.

Lisa Lane: What do you mean your son’s not coming home? What? Not acceptable. And then of course, she and others asked me like, do they not wanna come home?

I mean, and I went, you know, okay, I gotta think that through. I gotta think that through. When they come home, they do have to deal with me and my ex and all that, you know? Is it that I went, no, I don’t think it’s that. I don’t think it’s that. I mean, it was, they didn’t wanna make that decision.

They were sad about it. They made a decision. It was my job to support them. So we did every day. We asked about the cat. Andrea, at a certain point, this cat, this feral cat that has feline AIDs, they installed a feeding tube.

Andrea Marie: Oh my goodness. Oh man.

Lisa Lane: So I’m just putting it on record right now with you, Andrea Marie, and all my mom friends. If such time as I get to the point in my life when I need a feeding tube.

Andrea Marie: No.

Lisa Lane: I’m done. Okay, let me go.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: They’re poor graduate students. So all of this were like, trying to be so supportive and the whole time just going, ah, I can’t.

And then, I mean, honestly, having to tell my mother. Having to tell like we show up at the cousin’s Christmas party, like, I mean, everybody’s like, what? They’re the favorites. It may very well be that this kid went, I get a pass this year.

He is the good one. He has lived domestically, the other one’s lived abroad for many years since their divorce. He’s the one who he does show up, you know?

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Well, and it’s so hard. Like now that they’re adults, they are making their own decisions and you can’t do anything. There’s nothing like that. That is the challenge. You want to control everything. You used to be able to control everything. You used to be able to, you know, when they’re living in your house, you’d be like, no, you can’t do that.

I’m not allowing it. And now it’s like, huh. Okay. Alright. Uh, yeah.

Lisa Lane: And then you put yourself in your own, like where, what are the times that I have done this? I have certainly come to my parents. And my family and with unpopular decisions and how do I wish they had supported me, right? So I real, I was proud of myself. I put myself in that place and every day, you know, how’s the cat? Okay. Oh, and by the way, the cat is fine. The cat has lived. It’s great.

Andrea Marie: Mm-hmm.

Lisa Lane: Also, anyway, that doesn’t matter. I’m not gonna go down that road. Anyway, so what I kept saying that whole Christmas time and I was telling everybody this, I said, Hey, listen, this just shows what lovely parents they’re going to be someday. What devoted parents they will be. This shows, and I mean this sincerely, this shows that they have as a couple made a decision. They’re supporting each other. I love this. I kept making jokes, a little jokes about it, like, I mean, hey, the pendulum has swung too far.

My friends, I raised Andrea, you and I raised emotionally available loving men in America. Damn. You know, pendulum swung a little far ’cause now a cat prevents him.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. But yeah, what responsibility and what beautiful. Like dedication to the animal that they have, you know, taken charge of.

Lisa Lane: They’re at that age where really it’s parental instincts. Both of my sons have cats now and it’s cute to see that like that is actually there. Please, not quite yet, someday soon, but not grandbaby quite yet. But you know, you can see them.

They’re maturing into that. But what I did say all Christmas, like I was resolved to say all the positive things about them and spread that message and very much said, but here’s the thing, I’m gonna make fun of him about this for the rest of his life.

That is my material now, and you cannot make this shit Right. said that the whole time and then I posted another reel because of course I just told you I had all these new followers. So guess what? The algorithm of Meta is telling me, Hey, you need to post more. Do this, do that. Right? Post more, post more.

We’re gonna give you, you’ve gotten, you’ve earned more viewership. You know this stuff. I don’t know what Andrea, you know, oh God, I’m being real. Okay, gotta make another reel. So I made a pretty sick reel. Very funny about, Hey, just to follow up, did I listen to my own advice? No, I did not. I got blown up by my own bomb.

I had some expectations and what I said with the specific ways that your children can disappoint you and fuck up. The holidays are many. They’re very, you couldn’t have predicted that, right? So I posted this very funny reel and it came out and people were immediately responding in very funny ways.

And like even people who know my kids like, well, I know that’s with his big heart and absolutely, I said all of that and my kids are not on social media. And so this has never been a problem. I’ve only asked them one time, like kind of for their permission in comedy, because mostly. The stuff I talk about with them is either so far in the past or it is obfuscated enough.

It’s not directly about them, right. And they know that and they’re proud of it anyway. My son isn’t on the social media, but his cousins are.

Andrea Marie: Ahh.

Lisa Lane: I got sold out and then my son called me and went, mom, not cool. And he and his girlfriend were very hurt. I was shit-talking them, and especially by this reel on Instagram.

So this was the first time in my life that my comedy and the truth of life of the comedy conflating, you know, that I really had to deal with it in real time. I mean, and of course I went, it’s done.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: The reel’s down and what can I do for you? But it was rough. And it was.

Andrea Marie: Like people ask me that all the time. Do your boys see your comedy? I used to be, I have a joke too that I used to be really scared about them hearing my comedy. Now I just don’t care anymore, but like.

Lisa Lane: Yeah. And they’ve come, your boys have.

Andrea Marie: They’ve come to my shows and it is tempting to like share something like that. That is personal because it’s your life too.

But you know, I have the same thing. My boys aren’t really, they are on social media, but they, yeah, it’s tough.

Lisa Lane: It was the first time it had really happened as to me as an adult. I obviously, this is, I mean, in the world today, can you imagine these content creators, you know? Some of whom use their children?

Andrea Marie: Oh yeah. Yeah.

Lisa Lane: What a thing to navigate. But it was the first time, and I’ve listened. I’ve been listening to our podcast here, Moms Unhinged, and I was just listening yesterday to Stephanie McHugh talking about, bad, about she’s about to have a grand baby.

She wa she’s always joked about wanting to be called Carol as a grandmother, and her daughter’s going, no. And what Stephanie said, I just heard it yesterday and it kind of made me tear up. She just said, of course, in real life I will always honor my children. And that is true.

And I always, and the thing is, the one, the son, the one we’re talking about, he is, I know he’s proud of my comedy because I hear what he says about it to other people.

And he has never once come to a show, doesn’t want to, which is fine. I don’t blame him. Right, didn’t watch my Netflix show. The other one does, Auggie, and when he’s home from friends, he’ll come and see a little bit of comedy. Not a lie, it’s not their thing. But my son specifically doesn’t want to. But like I said, I know he has always been very proud of me.

He’s always, so I was oh my God. I felt terrible. I mean, I felt terrible for hurting his feelings. And the truth is, but I also defended it a little bit like, dude, this is the only defense. Whatever, you broke my heart. I mean, I’m trying so hard not to make you feel bad about it. I said all the things that you and I just talked about.

It’s wonderful to see your sons grow into mature people. Make your own decisions, make a decision with your partner, and stick to that. I said to him, I said, it really doesn’t matter what the rest of us think. Right. We can f off. What you and Galen are doing together, you’re building your new life together. And I mean all of those things.

Yes. And son, I will shit talk you about it ’cause it’s funny. Right, so it’s interesting and I mean, and I said I will take that reel down so the whole world doesn’t have to see it, but I told him I’m gonna talk about it. I mean, I’m gonna talk about it. And now that the cat is healthy and now that we’ve had, I think we’ve made amends.

I talked to him yesterday. I think we’re good. But I mean, I worried about it for a while. Like, oh God, did I just? And the thing is that it’s Christmas time, Andrea, are you kidding me? I kept saying, I kept saying like, to my mother who was not pleased with the, you know, I was like, I cannot let this fester into something that is his identity at, with the family for the rest of his life. You know what I mean? I cannot be that. I have to work hard not to let this become a shitty little thing that we just make fun of him.

for, you know,

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Because that, you know, the whole like little digs and little things they add up and they are truly like, they are like death by a thousand cuts, you know?

Lisa Lane: Yes.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: And I know what it’s like to feel that way in a family. I mean, you know, I’m a little bit the whatever, probably we all are the comedian, you know, I’m a little bit of the, I don’t wanna say black sheep, but you know. I’m like, I’ve recently, I said, I think my family thinks of me like a pet and a crazy little pet.

But that it’s the death by a thousand cuts and I don’t want it to become that. Anyway, it was an interesting, it was such an interesting parenting Moms Unhinged kind journey. Not only the, the truth of my God, the ways they can disappoint you.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: Your expectations can mess you up.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, it is true. The expectations is a huge thing. That’s like disappointment just comes from where reality doesn’t meet what you would, you know, what you had expected. And it’s so important too, like, maybe not necessarily like you joke about lowering your expectations, but really just.

I mean, that’s it too. And or just removing those expectations as best you can so that you’re just letting people be who they are. And that includes your kids, that includes people in your life, that includes your spouse.

Lisa Lane: Yeah. Well, do you do that naturally? Or do you go into things with high hopes?

Andrea Marie: Yeah, I’m definitely an optimistic person and so it is hard when you’re an optimistic person, you kind of have this vision of how things are gonna go, and I really had to learn it. I really had to, I mean, it’s like, you know, I’m 56 now and it takes a long time. I really didn’t feel like I mastered that until I got into late forties.

Lisa Lane: I think I may be learning to master it right this very minute. I’m not kidding, because it keeps kicking me in the butt. I talked about this, the therapist again yesterday also because it bums me out a little bit to go, but wait. But I don’t wanna let go of that optimistic, you know, I don’t want but high hope for a living.

That’s my thing. Then I realize, wait a minute, I mean, it’s stoicism, right? It’s stoicism.

Andrea Marie: It’s accepting what’s available.

Lisa Lane: That’s right. And life is pain. And once you realize that life is less painful.

Andrea Marie: Yes, exactly. That’s it.

Lisa Lane: And I know that. But it just keeps, like, it keeps, Joe and I just went on a vacation ordered by our therapist because we needed a break and just to be the two of us in a cocoon.

We had a rough year, la, la, la. And right before we went, the weather was predicted to be rainy the entire time. We almost changed. I mean, if I could have gotten more of a reservation refund or whatever. We would’ve gone someplace else. We really, and so we, what we did is we just thought about all of the things we could do in the rain on our beach

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: So we went in, I mean, again, it’s like really, universe, you’re gonna kick me in the butt with this. Again, we went in with such low expectations, and then we had, I had wondered lately, especially the state of the world of stuff I had wondered what it was gonna take for me to feel like awe again, and just like bliss, because it feels hard these days. Right? And we had the most perfect snorkeling.

I swam with a monk seal, Andrea, these are endangered. There’s only 10 of them around the island of Maui. And it came up and was like, and we’re backing away like we’re not supposed to get close to you, you’re endangered. They came up, they would just wanted to swim with us.

I mean, we had the most perfect snorkeling, and that’s our favorite thing in the whole wide world conditions I have ever had in my whole life. And I went, God damnit. It’s ’cause I went in with low expectations.

Andrea Marie: I know. That’s beautiful.

Lisa Lane: So I’m literally learning how I’m glad you did it in your forties. That doesn’t surprise me. Your are a leader in all things, Andrea.

Really to realize that now that, and again, we talk now a lot about regulating our feelings, right? And it’s like that’s a regulating thing. And to learn that, in fact, as a parent, oh my gosh. And I think of the young moms, I think of all of the things I was less like this. I don’t know, maybe, the pressure to be Pinterest perfect with every birthday party to have Instagram moments for.

There’s a lot more I think now of the kind of hot mess express mom content out there, you know.

Andrea Marie: Luckily. Yeah, luckily there’s some levity that’s happening where people are like, Hey, we do not, we’re not even anywhere close to perfect and it’s good. It’s okay where it’s, we can accept ourselves. We can, you know? Yeah.

Lisa Lane: And obviously that’s the comradery and that’s what we’re doing, right, is reminding the moms, Hey, here’s what funny about it is where it’s not perfect. But yeah, I guess I’m just learning that lesson on stoicism once again of just like really learn like ex, but it’s not expect nothing isn’t it.

It’s what you just said. It’s, no, it’s not expect, low expectations don’t have low expectations. It’s more like expect nothing. Just don’t.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: Just live like that. Why would you expect?

Andrea Marie: It is what it is. Right. And so, yeah, it’s, yeah. So great.

Lisa Lane: But that’s an important, that really is an important thing for us as we age and parents at every age, at every stage of life. Right? Because again, I mean, I see it. Oh boy, I have a cousin who’s kid is really struggling that right now with anxiety, like crippling anxiety, and we’re all looking at it like, well, kind of saw that one coming.

I mean, this is a kid with a lot of pressure on him to do certain career paths and we could all tell from age three that this kid is not doing that.

Andrea Marie: I know that’s so, so, true. So true.

Lisa Lane: And if we expect, not le like you say, not less of them, but just kind of try not to expect anything. Let it be.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Lisa Lane: Let them be themselves. Yeah, so that’s what we’re gonna try. That’s my New Year’s resolution.

Andrea Marie: Yes, oh my gosh. Yeah, so good. And I can’t believe this half hour has gone by so quickly, Lisa. It’s amazing. So why don’t you let people know where they can find you online?

Lisa Lane: Yes, ma’am. Lisa Lane Comedy. That’s the website. That’s Instagram Yeah, I mostly work on Instagram now. I should get on TikTok, whatever. Yeah, Lisa Lane Comedy. That’s it. You can find me there and my books. You can find ’em there. Lisa Lane Comedy, and I don’t know if you’ve heard, but you can find me on the Moms Unhinged website.

There’s this dope function at the top where you can select by performer and see where I’m coming.

Andrea Marie: See where the show are. Yeah, that’s awesome. I love it. And we will have all those links in the show notes. So thank you so much, Lisa. This has been great.

Lisa Lane: Thank you, a joy as always.

Andrea Marie: A pleasure talking to you.

Lisa Lane: Take care everybody.

Andrea Marie: Thanks for listening and make sure you subscribe, share, and follow us on the socials to get more comedy clips.