Emily Holden

[00:00:00] Getting cast in a Hooters commercial

When I’m not performing standup, I do a little bit of acting and I actually got cast last year in a Hooters commercial.

Yes, I know. I know Sir. Hooters has gone downhill, right? Trust me. No one was more surprised than these gals, y’all. I got cast. As a customer,

I walked in thinking, mama still got it. And then they said, grab that 40 ounce beer and sit at that table and start drinking it.

Andrea Vahl: We are Moms Unhinged, a nationally touring standup comedy show. Join us in our podcast as we explore everything from motherhood, midlife, crisis, marriage, divorce, online dating, menopause, and other things that irritate us.

Andrea Marie: Welcome Emily.

Emily Holden: Ah, thank you, Andrea. Hello, it’s good to be here. Good to see your face.

Andrea Marie: Yes. I know. And we chit chatted so long we were like, oh, we should probably record. I know, right?? So, always fun. So Emily is one of our Atlanta based comedians.

She has been touring with Moms Unhinged running. She does, a lot of the like hosting and opening and producing of the shows all over the country. So I am just so happy to have you on the team because, and that’s what we were talking about. We just got talking about business so much. Yeah, so it’s just can get away from us.

Yes, for sure. And that is actually how I wanted to start the podcast. I wanted to talk about you have run several businesses, yes. While having a family. So let’s talk about that. How have you done that? And tell us about the businesses that you have run while having a family.

Emily Holden: Okay, so let’s see. I was in advertising, before having a business, like advertising sales. So I’ve always had that sort of entrepreneurial spirit ’cause being like commission only sales is you’re on your own.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Emily Holden: And I like it. I like, I’m really competitive with myself and so it’s always kind of part of me. My boyfriend at the time now, husband of a long time, we did improv theater in addition to our regular jobs in our twenties.

And then, we left the improv theater where we were, and a group of us decided we should start our own improv theater.

Andrea Marie: Because why not?

Emily Holden: Because that’s what you do. You know? So easy, just so normal. An improv theater, so normal, right? But we were always like, you know what my husband always said, and I agree, is like Ias our friends and peers really started like sinking into their late twenties, early thirties.

You know, people was like, they do their job and then they go home at night and sit on the couch. Yeah and that’s not what we wanted to do. So we had the Village Theater. We closed two years ago, but we were in business for 12 or 13 years. I can’t remember. I was one of the founders, but once we had kids.

I stepped back a little bit naturally, just because, well, we had, when we had our first daughter, we both would do like, I would do a Friday and then he’d do a Saturday. But he was running a lot more of the like managing side of it as well, in addition to his regular job.

Andrea Marie: Right.

Emily Holden: Crazy. Once we had our second daughter, it was like, something’s gonna give.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

[00:03:49] How to run two businesses and lose your mind

Emily Holden: But because I’m also such a glutton for punishment, I didn’t go back to work when our oldest was born, but I had just been having fun baking on the side and, you know, I like to use the scientific term. I got itchy. And so I decided to start a baking business also because, you know, every family needs two small businesses.

Especially two small businesses as profitable as the food industry and live entertainment. You know, just rolling in dough. You guys were just a hundred percent just normal, nine to five schedules, you know, come home and eat dinner. Let’s definitely not throw a pandemic with a 3-year-old in. Oh my God.

So I started Jamila’s Bakery. It is named after my great-grandmother, and it was just cookie sandwiches. Oh so very unhealthy, but very delicious.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Emily Holden: So old fashioned kind of cookies with different buttercream fillings.

Andrea Marie: Mm.

Emily Holden: And it grew. It grew as much as I wanted it to. I am not as much of a risk taker, as you are with business decisions.

And so I grew slowly.. And was also had the kids at home, so it was certain times of year, it was a lot more part-time. The holidays were insane. I did about, I don’t know, half of my year and two weeks in December. Wow so it was crazy.

Andrea Marie: Wow. And then you didn’t have a store, you didn’t have an actual storefront.

You were.

Emily Holden: No, I was really lucky there was a place that had just opened, this was kind of the tail end of like the food truck explosion. Right. And in Atlanta there’s a place called prep and it, and they exist around the country. Mm-hmm. So it’s commercial kitchens. Okay. So I rented commercial kitchen space.

So I didn’t have the overhead of a brick and mortar, right. Which I did not want. having had the overhead of the brick and mortar for the theater. Yeah. So it was, it was a good, it was good. I mean, it was expensive, but it was right for me.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Yeah, did you sell cookies to the theater goers?

Emily Holden: I did sell cookie sandwiches at the theater.

Definitely. That’s smart. I mean, so I sold the cookie sandwiches. I started with some wholesale, you know, coffee shops, that sort of thing. But my bread and butter was individual customers. Like, and especially businesses. Mm-hmm.

So gift boxes for their client list. Right. And so that really , drew on my sales skills that I had had from doing advertising sales for so long.

Yeah. Which now full circle, you know, doing standup is still selling yourself.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Emily Holden: And the kind of somewhat cheesy realization that I’ve made is like in my twenties when I was doing advertising sales, I worked for a newspaper. Mm-hmm. Because I’m a thousand years old. Yes. If you all don’t know what a newspaper is, but it was a very cool weekly, like free weekly newspaper, you know?

I know Boulder and Denver have those, or did have those back in the day. Right. They could survive on ads. Yeah, exactly. So it was like I was selling someone else’s dream, so to speak. Right. And then I feel like in my thirties with the bakery, I was learning how to sell a product that was mine. But now doing standup, I’m selling myself.

Yeah and I think there’s a reason, and you’re a hot cookie. Has had that weird, what’d you say?

Andrea Marie: You’re a hot cookie.

Emily Holden: I’m a hot cookie. Exactly. I’m a hot mess. But I don’t think I would’ve had the confidence to do standup in my twenties, even though I did improv. I think it’s, I feel really lucky. You know, there’s days that I might go, oh, why didn’t I start standup earlier?

Right and then there’s other days that I’m like, oh, thank God I did not stand up, start standup any younger.

Yeah, that’s, I don’t know. I don’t know if that, I mean, I hope that resonates with people.

[00:08:09] Why “survival days” don’t leave room for creativity

Andrea Marie: No, for sure. That’s exactly how I feel. I feel like I didn’t start standup until my, you know, until I was like, basically 40. But I did improv just like you.

And so it is a whole different, it’s a whole different mentality. And it is, like, I’m like, I don’t know if I had the, yeah self-confidence to be able to withstand some of the right rejection you get.

Emily Holden: Yeah. I mean, and the thing you know from doing, when you have rejection in improv, you’ve got a team to support you. Yeah, yeah.

Andrea Marie: So it’s easy. And you can always blame someone else.

Emily Holden: Always. Exactly, exactly. Oh, and I was the only woman, so it was when we started, it was rough. Not as we grew. It was beautiful because it ended up being like half men, half women. But yeah, there’s no way. Now if I have a bad show, all I say is, oh, what a gift.

This is gonna be a great story to tell later. Right. Right. And I truly feel that way. Yeah.

Andrea Marie: Or I feel like I’m, oh, I really worked out hard to, yes, that was a learning lesson or whatever, and you know, yeah. I mean, I have bombed pretty hard, but it’s not fun.

Emily Holden: No, it’s not fun. But I don’t think my mentality at 25 could have handled it compared to now.

For sure.

Yeah. So it’s interesting. Something else that I always think about. When I, so I started stand up at 42. I mean, I started thinking I wanted to try it at about 40, but mm-hmm. It took me till 42 because I’m not always a risk taker. Yeah but my husband is very supportive and understands like the love of performing.

Mm-hmm. You know, he said, I’m fully supportive. I just don’t, I don’t understand, like you had the theater, you could have done anything the past 12, like you you could have put on any show that you wanted to at the theater and try and done.

And we did have sketch and standup there as well. And I was like, dude, I did not have creativity going through my bones when I had, was nursing or pregnant or interesting experiencing, you know, trouble with pregnancies, like mm-hmm.

I did I my thirties, I really kind of lost that desire to perform even.

Andrea Marie: Hmm. Interesting.

Emily Holden: You know, yeah, I mean the bakery has baking, had creative elements. Oh, you know, how to market something. But that was really more probably just giving me time to sit and rural cookie dough balls and think about jokes that I now use.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, yeah. But do you think that it was the just being, you know, just everything in motherhood that was kind of sucking, that was it? Did you feel like it was just sucking creativity out of you? Or that performance element just because you were so busy with the kids? Or what do you think it might have been something else?

Emily Holden: Or, I don’t even know . I think when you’re in survival mode, you’re not even thinking about.

You know, I always say if we’re having a hard day, like is this a survival day or a thriving day? Mm-hmm. And I just think so many years when the kids are young, are survival days. Right. So I don’t think I necessarily, I wasn’t sitting at home going, oh man, I really wish I was performing. Yeah. I didn’t even, I don’t even think I wanted to be right.

But as I approached 40. And the kids got a little more independent. I could feel it coming back. And I feel, you know, I think in the beginning of standup I made jokes like, oh, this is a midlife crisis. Mm-hmm. And the truth is it wasn’t at all. It was just coming back to who I’ve always been.

Which is, I mean, I started doing theater in like fourth grade and fell in love with the stage. Right, right. So I forget who said that. There’s like some quote about becoming who you really are is just the clay and taking away the bits to create like the sculpture’s already there. Yeah. You know?

Andrea Marie: Yeah, exactly. For sure. It’s underneath there. So yeah, that’s kind. Yeah. It’s a lot. It’s interesting ’cause yeah, because performing and standup in particular do take a lot of energy. It’s a lot of giving to the audience. Like I couldn’t imagine, like you said, just wanting to, after a long day where the kids are up at five 30 in the morning wanting to go out and have the energy to perform. Although there are times where I wish I had started when they were young, ’cause I was like, oh, all that material.

[00:12:59] Raising creative kids (who sometimes roast you back)

Emily Holden: That is definitely also true. But my oldest is a old soul and when I really started getting into standup, they made an observation, which was really sweet, which was like.

You know, before when you would have to, if you had to leave to go bake, you would be kind of bummed that you had to be away from us and now like you’re so happy. Oh and it’s so happy to watch you like succeed.

Oh, that’s so nice. Yeah I love that. Yeah what a gift.

Yeah. And even though they’re 13, they’re very into writing.

They’re a huge reader and they’re very into writing and they like. I mean, I get jealous of how much they write. I’m like, no, I haven’t written a new joke in weeks. You know? And they’re like, have playlists on Spotify for, oh, today I’m working on character development, so I’m listening to this Spotify playlist.

I’m like, oh my God, I have a lot. But we talk a lot about like goals and you know, that sort of thing. I don’t know.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Emily Holden: Who knows. I think deep down too. If I’m being really honest, I’m better at standup than I ever was at improv.

Andrea Marie: Mm.

Emily Holden: And when I think back to my improv days, the things that I really, really excelled out had to do with like face out games and audience interaction stuff and stuff that really translates to doing standup now.

Andrea Marie: So you ventured out into doing standup after doing improv.

Did your husband ever try standup? Standup?

Emily Holden: No. No, and to be honest, it’s interesting because, I mean, he was very good at improv and good at running the theater, but the theater closed about two and a half years ago. Mm-hmm. So about a little less than a year into me starting, and he’s been so relieved to only have the one job, the day job.

Andrea Marie: Day job. Yeah so you guys, so you were running that, he had a day job, you had a bakery and you were running the theater. That is just incredible. How did you even have time to parent?

Emily Holden: I dunno. I mean the bakery was not full time. Yes. I mean, parts of the time of the year. It definitely was, but right.

It got to a play. I have no idea. And both of us are like, how, why, why did we do that to ourselves? You know? Yeah. And the other thing, I mean, we were really lucky. We both sets of our parents were somewhat local.

Andrea Marie: Yeah.

Emily Holden: And so we did have some support, which was really nice. But the other reason I was like, I could feel myself not like, let me put it this way.

Yeah, if I was making a lawyer’s salary with the bakery, I may have kept doing it, but I wasn’t. So it’s like, if I’m not super, thrilled about it, why? What is it? It’s not worth it, you know? Right and so it was easy to like step away from, but I knew once I started doing standup that like I fall in love with it every day.

Yeah. So I don’t know how we did it. And we, the other thing is like we closed the theater and I closed the bakery, you know Right. When our parents were really starting to have more health issues too. Mm-hmm. And so that was another impetus in me starting standup. ’cause it was like I had the urge and I’m like, if I don’t start now, we’re gonna have so much going on, helping out with grandparents.

Right, and I don’t think I’m gonna be able to get in good habits to do standup. Whereas now something, you know, we can have something rough happen and I can still pull it together to have a good set that night.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. If you’re so scattered, it’s hard to even think so.

Emily Holden: Yeah. I don’t know. I don’t know how we were so silly. Yeah. I mean, we put a lot of other things on hold, hold that we’re trying to kind of work on now.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. But it sounds like what, it seems like you’re raising really creative kids if they’re doing, you know, doing all this stuff too. And it probably really helped to have them see you and your husband go after things in that way, you know?

[00:17:46] Balancing mom guilt with late-night gigs

Emily Holden: Yeah. They’re both probably too, independent, not independent, like take care of themselves, but like they know their place in the world and what they wanna do in the world. And for me, well my oldest is non-binary now.

But is a female so you know, have two females like it. My driving, my North Star or whatever you want to call it, is never having kids in the house. Having my daughters feel, like I’m resentful. And I think that’s something that previous generations. You know, I think our generation had to deal with that.

Mm-hmm. that sort of unspoken resentment by previous generations, not necessarily being able to kind of go after what they wanted.

Andrea Marie: Right, right. We have a lot of different freedoms now that we, yeah we didn’t have, and our parents were maybe more limited, especially the women, especially the moms, you know? Yeah.

Emily Holden: And I feel really, I mean, I feel really, I’m not perfect. Blair’s not perfect, but you know, we make he’s very understanding because of having had the theater for so long, he understands the characters and the ups and downs and he’s good sometimes at, you know, being like, oh, that’s not something you should do.

That’s not worth your time, or that sort of thing. Yeah yeah, and because he is sort, he co he is behind the theater days. He’s fine being at home with the kids at night, like there’s no jealousy. He doesn’t want to, he’s getting older. He doesn’t want to be out at night. Yeah, so it’s I had another friend in comedy that said, you know, one, and she’s in her fifties and she said, it’s my turn to be the gardener.

I’m sorry. It’s my turn to be the flower, not the gardener.

Andrea Marie: Oh yeah, yeah. And I was like, whoa that’s good. Yeah, yeah. I love that. I love that. You know, I’m in my fifties now and it does feel like it’s like this. Age where you get to like be more confident. You know, the kids are older, you’ve got like this really great time of life, I think, and yeah.

Emily Holden: You know, where and that and feel less guilty, you know? Yeah.

Andrea Marie: Feel less guilty because the kids are doing their own things and you know that for sure. That helps. And you can just be like, Hey, I need this. This is for me.

Emily Holden: Yeah. Yeah. And I, yeah, I think them seeing me vary. I’ve always struggled with, the stay at home guilt versus not stay at home.

There’s times that I want to be both, and I try to be both. And I give myself a lot more grace now than I used to. Yeah about that. And I think, if I am traveling for shows, then I mean, I do make a point to then, you know, be at home with them and that sort of thing.

But again, I’m lucky right now ’cause there’s really don’t want to be around me all time until they do.

Andrea Marie: Right. That’s a little, uh, silver lining to the, you know, teenage years is if they don’t want the to be around you, you get little more free time.

Emily Holden: Well, and I, I have known women that are older that felt really lost. Even that they’re working full time, they feel really lost. Once their kids are gone, if you don’t have something right. That you’re in love with doing, whether it’s a hobby or professional, you know? Right. For sure. I mean, I think you and I both kind of operate that way.

Yeah. You know? Yeah. A lot of, inter, lot of kid in a candy. Yeah. I love to take a kid in a candy store approach to life.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. I love that. That’s great. That is great. Yeah. It’s all, it’s all delicious. Um, what about you though? I

Emily Holden: mean, am I allowed

Andrea Marie: to add like, I know this is No, no, no. I don’t, uh, you know, can’t ask me questions.

This is no, but I do wanna find out how did you, so you had the idea of getting into comedy a couple years, you’d already done improv, so you know, you, you know, you’re good on stage, you’re not afraid of being on stage. What started you then? Did you take a class? Was it a, you know, did you just go out to open mics?

[00:22:27] The yard-sign project that woke up her funny bone

Andrea Marie: How did you really get started in comedy? So.

Emily Holden: I at the be very beginning. I think the idea started being in the back of my head, maybe in my late thirties, and I honestly don’t know. I don’t know what put standup in my mind, but I turned 40 and then the pandemic happened. And that first week. My initial, like literally the first week, my initial thought was, oh my gosh, I wanna put a sign outside in our front yard.

Almost like a tweet that’s just kind of funny, kind of sweet, whatever. And it was just my like, immediate thought was, okay, I’m gonna put, we live in a really walkable neighborhood, so people are always walking their dogs or running or whatever. And so I put it out on a board and then I decided to change it every day. And I did this for about a year and a half.

Andrea Marie: Oh my gosh.

Emily Holden: And it became this thing where that’s what really woke me up to, oh my gosh, you have missed. Being creative, making people smile, making people laugh. Mm-hmm. You it just reawaken my soul, honestly. Right. And sometimes it was hard, but it almost like started a writing habit.

Oh, because like Blair would joke, it would be like eight 30 in the morning and he’d be like, you haven’t changed your sign yet, and there’s people walking by. You need to change it for today. You know? And he would tease me like, oh, there’s a fan coming. Like people would leave me like gift certificates and stuff.

Oh, it was really because they were like, we depend on the sign. During these like really crazy times, you know?

Andrea Marie: Oh, that makes, that’s like choking me up a little. ’cause like, oh, thanks. Just realizing the power we have just to make someone smile and that someone looks forward to it and that you’re really serving a need.

Sometimes it feels like, what is comedy? Is that a real job? Yeah, it does. It really does help people get through the day a lot of times. That’s wonderful.

Emily Holden: I think too, it also helped me like, go, okay, you know what? There could be some kind of judgmental moms down like that, see it and think, God, you know, Maggie and Lucy’s mom is so weird, you know?

But it made me like, forget about that kind of critic. ‘Cause I feel like I look. Like, I would be that kind of person, but I’m such a theater kid and such a goofy weirdo, you know, really when it comes down to it, and I think doing that sign, maybe like, no, no, no. This is my purpose, you know?

And I don’t go to church. I went to church growing up. I’m not really practicing now. I’ve confused thoughts on where I stand with God, but I have said like, when I did improv, it was like. I never felt closer to a God than when I was standing on stage. Hmm. You know, even if I was telling a dick joke, like I still feel like I’m doing my spiritual calling, you know?

So yeah, so I think I did the sign and then I was just like, okay, I gotta try it. And so I, I signed up for. An open mic at Laughing Skull Lounge and theirs is great because you get a date like four weeks out. Mm and I’d already been kind of writing and you had all your signs, all your sun.

Home liners. Exactly. And then it was just kind of, yeah. ,Started doing the open mics and then, kind of tiptoed into it, but loved it. And then about a year and I did take a class, I took the, Lace Larrabee class, which has made standup amazing for women in Atlanta, or as amazing as standup can be for women.

And then I just hit the ground running, you know? Yeah.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, I love that. That’s so great. Yeah, I love that origin story. How amazing. Thanks. We get into it and realize that creative piece needed to come out, and it’s just, I think creativity and the self-expression is so underrated and we really as humans need it.

Mm-hmm. And whatever, in whatever way it comes out, baking or performing or art or writing something, it just is so critical to our mental health and our, being able to be good parents even.

Emily Holden: Oh, and I see that with my girls so much, you know, will do something that’s more like, I don’t know, your boys had these little things when they were young.

They’re called pearler beads.

Andrea Marie: Oh yeah.

Emily Holden: Yeah. And my youngest, who is a consumer beyond all consumers, yeah. Is always thinking of something new that I need to get her, you know? Yeah. And I’m like. You already have so many arts and crafts. We don’t need more. Like, I mean, she, you know, she sews, she whatever. And she was like, but mom, she’s like, this activity is like so calming.

Yeah. And I’m like, all right, you sold me.

Andrea Marie: You sold me. Sold. I know my kids at some time, points are factories of that. You know, like they did those iron. Things, those little beads that you’d iron and that’s it. Yeah, yeah. And yeah, they would turn, they’d turn those out I had stacks of ’em, but I’m like, Hey, if it’s keeping you occupied, let’s go.

[00:28:20] Her most unhinged mom moment

Andrea Marie: Yeah. So do you have any unhinged moments where, you know, you just kind of lost your mind a little bit or something happened with the kids? I’d love to hear a little, oh God, unhinged story.

Emily Holden: Well, I mean, I always think about in kindergarten when my youngest told her kindergarten teacher how I’m always on my cell phone when I’m driving.

No. That was good. That was really nice to learn about. Yeah, I mean.

Andrea Marie: The teacher came to you and said, Hey, I think.

Emily Holden: Yeah, uh huh. And the even bigger irony being that. There’s a program in Georgia, like safe route to school, so it kind of promotes like bike safety and walking safety and I am a part, I was a part of it at the elementary school and we would do skits and stuff, so I’m like promoting safety yet, you know, deep down, no, I mean there were so many unhinged moments, like I think the worst, I mean, really with the bakery, it’s so grueling.

And you work so long and you’re on your feet and all that stuff. I remember one time, like, it was probably during the holidays, like I hadn’t gotten to eat and I’m like a habitual, like I want my breakfast, lunch, dinner. And, I didn’t, I needed to get home to pick up a kid but hadn’t eaten all day. And it was just, you know, it was like, like my bones hurt.

I was so tired and I didn’t have time to heat up. I brought a frozen burrito, but I didn’t have time to heat it up, so I ate a hard rock, frozen burrito while going to pick up a child, you know, just gnawing on it. Just gnawing, like you can’t taste any flavor in it, you know?

Andrea Marie: That’s rough. That is, that’s rough.

Emily Holden: Yeah. And I really, I don’t know if you’re like this as you get older, but it’s like I just, I value rest. So much more. I don’t have that capacity for like crazy amounts of stress the way I used to do. Mm-hmm. I mean, I don’t know if you just had, I don’t know. I used to like, it used to be like an adrenaline thrill to do that.

Andrea Marie: Right, right. You know, I totally, I relate to that too, where it was just like, like boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, getting all done and now I’m like. I think I’m gonna try and get two things done today.

Emily Holden: Yeah, yeah. Or just allow myself like you can. You don’t have to be bone tired in order to take a break.

Andrea Marie: Right.

Emily Holden: Exactly. Yeah but that’s just again, kind of not how I was raised.

Andrea Marie: Yeah. Well, Emily, this has just been so much fun. Thank you so much for coming on the show.

Emily Holden: Thank you for being, being in my life. And you’ve like just made comedy so so much better. And you took a chance on me and, oh no. I love getting to grow with you.

Andrea Marie: Yeah, no, you are wonderful. I’m so grateful to have you on the team. I just know that I am not, I’m like, oh, thank God Emily’s got it. She’s got everything handled. And I think, especially with your business background, I think you know, you get it. You understand that. You know, all the pieces that have to be big piece of it.

Yeah. Yeah. So, so thank you for all of of that. And why don’t you tell the listeners where they can find you? Follow you? Get ahold of you. Yeah. For all that.

Emily Holden: I’ve got a sexy OnlyFans page. No, I’m joking. Definitely not. No. emilyholdencomedy.com is my website. Or on Instagram @emilydholden or at an upcoming Moms on Hing show.

Yeah. Lots of shows coming up, so thank you so much.

Aw, thank, thank you so much, Andrea. I’ll talk to you soon. Sounds good, all right. Bye. Bye.

Andrea Vahl: Thanks for listening and make sure you subscribe, share, and follow us on the socials to get more comedy clips.